I Am Afraid Of Everything

Cyclops

2010-04-01T11:53:25Z

New Deathmøle:

Cyclops

Enjoy!

spoiler alert

2010-03-29T07:10:53Z

sick of ads etc. on LJ so mainly posting stuff to my tumblr these days.

STUFF LIKE THIS

I am rapidly devolving into a fat worthless otaku shitcock

2010-03-03T10:54:52Z

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BPELT THING ANYWAY

2010-02-28T20:37:56Z

Probably the #1 question I get asked about my drawing process these days is "what is that thing you do where the colors go all crazy?" Well that is the BPelt color flatting plugin for Photoshop, and I made a video that shows how to use it!

AUGH HARPIES

2010-02-28T00:47:42Z

New Deathmøle!

Harpies

Mass Effect Comix

2010-02-19T23:25:01Z

WEBCOMICS!!!

ABOUT VIDEO GAMES!!!!

KROGANS!

ASARI!

QUARIANS!

RIP Buttcat

2010-02-10T08:23:03Z

My friends Jeffrey and Holly lost a dear friend yesterday. Chester was a buttcat, but he was also an AWESOME cat, beloved by everybody who met him. He will be dearly missed.

(click for a bigger version)

Redrawin'

2010-02-05T01:59:50Z

Couple random things this time. Here's the first appearance of Faye in strip #3, only redrawn in my current style for the QC book:

And here's Marigold's new Twitter picture:

She's kind of ashamed of that shirt (and so am I).

Hark A Slingshot? Girls With Vagrants?

2010-01-26T01:23:18Z

Tonight's warmup drawing was a couple of characters from two of my favorite webcomics, Girls With Slingshots and Hark! A Vagrant.

(click for big)

I didn't get Jamie's boobs big enough, but I think I did an okay job capturing the surliness and ennui of the Mystery Solving Teens.

EDIT: Look what Kate drew in return! IS HANNERS OMG

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS

2010-01-22T20:09:58Z

If QC were a newspaper comic

2010-01-13T19:34:31Z

HEY UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE I GOT YER NEXT GOLDMINE RIGHT HERE

Then and Now

2010-01-12T12:48:43Z

As you may know, I'm currently working on putting the first QC book together. It will comprise the first 300 comics, in full color, and should be on sale in the first quarter of 2010 if everything goes according to plan. Part of the process of making the book is re-drawing old strips that I'm missing the original, high-resolution artwork for- probably 15 or 20 out of the first 300 comics. The plan is to have the re-drawn comics alongside the original, low-resolution versions, to provide a sort of comparison between what my art looked like then and what it looks like now.

The first five comics are among these, and this morning I finally went back and re-drew the very first Questionable Content comic I ever made. It was a surprisingly emotional experience- revisiting something I did six and a half years ago, reflecting on where I was then and where I am now, and this crazy goddamned career that began as nothing more than a means of blowing off creative steam after long days at MY job as an "office bitch."

Anyway, I thought you might like to see a comparison of the original versus the re-drawn version:

Here's the uStream video of me drawing it.

I'm pretty happy with the new version, and it was a lot of fun to just draw a comic without the stress of having to actually write it first. And for those of you who like seeing the originals and how my art's progressed, don't worry- I won't be replacing anything in the site archives (as much as I wish I could).

More "bands as people"

2010-01-11T03:20:02Z

Because I could do these forever, more bands personified as people (this time largely taken out of my own iTunes library):

• Weezer is your best friend from high school who you lost touch with in college, and when you finally bump into him again after graduation he has somehow become a total fucking douchebag.

• The Album Leaf gives great head but it otherwise useless in bed.

• The Arcade Fire is the guy you were best friends with before he knew anybody in town, but now that he's super-popular he doesn't even return your phone calls.

• Yo La Tengo are your wealthy, older post-hipster upstairs neighbors who only throw loud parties every once in a while but you don't mind because they usually invite you.

• Venetian Snares is that crackhead on the corner who you secretly love because he screams hilarious insults

• Tortoise is that one really hot professor you had back in college, that you're pretty sure you could've hooked up with (but you're glad you didn't because he's probably boring in bed)

• Godspeed You! Black Emperor is the girl you broke up with after she asked you to act out a rape fantasy with her in bed.

• The Sword is a guy with thick black vintage glasses, a flannel shirt, and an ironic mullet, and yeah he's kind of a douche but he's fun to hang out with so you quietly hope it's just a phase he's going through.

• Radiohead is the girl who was absolutely stunning back in college and you pretend you don't still have a crush on her but every time she comes in to starbucks your heart skips a beat.

• Mogwai is your best friend's girlfriend who frankly has put on quite a few pounds in the past couple years but they're happy so who are you to judge.

• Air is the sleazy guy with a secret goofball heart that you delighted in spending a weekend discovering in between bouts of vigorous sex.

• Bjork slapped you, then kissed you, then fucked your brains out, then wrote a breakup note on your bathroom mirror with her menstrual blood.

• David Bowie is your dad's friend who all your friends want to fuck. Some of them have, but they'll never tell you.

• You will always have fond memories of hotboxing and then making out in Dinosaur Jr.'s El Camino in high school.

• Fever Ray was the girl in drama class that everyone was genuinely afraid of. One day she left a notebook on her desk. You flipped it open to find that it was full of gorgeously surreal portraits of everyone in class, drawn in ballpoint pen and charcoal smuggled from the art room.

• The Fiery Furnaces are a lot like Rich Stevens- cranky and initially uninviting, but total sweethearts once you make the effort to get to know them.

• Interpol got you front-row seats at the opera for your first date but then could only afford to take you to Wendy's every time after that.

• Grizzly Bear is the $500 cashmere sweater you will wear until it literally falls apart.

• LCD Soundsystem really hates the fact that he thought he was too cool to date you back when you were single.

• Low taught you that you really do have to love yourself before you can love others.

• Magnolia Electric Co. is your ex-druggie older brother. You're happy to see him find some stability but you miss being able to raid his stash.

• Of Montreal is the boy none of your friends could stand, and you completely understand why, but you dated him anyway.

• Pavement taught you everything you know about sex and just smiled when you said you wanted to start seeing other people.

• Portishead spent hours in the bathroom, carving intricate spirals into her thighs and forearms with a razor blade. Years after you broke up, you run into her at a party. She is entirely covered in scar-tissue swirls, and radiant.

• !!! just wanted to fuck and that is all you were looking for.

• Yeah Yeah Yeahs are the girl all your friends think is AMAZING she is just so BRILLIANT and FIERCE and INTELLIGENT but as far as you can tell she's just a boring twat with a goofy haircut.

• Sunn 0))) had a huge dick but wouldn't cuddle afterwards.

• Spoon is the guy who picked you up at a show, took you to a great little park you didn't even know existed, and walked you home without even asking for your number.

• Russian Circles was mediocre in bed when you started dating, but by the end of the relationship she was a total freak in the sack.

• You hear Guided By Voices ended up in rehab and you feel bad for being his enabler all those years ago.

• Built to Spill is cute, but it's hard to get him to stop talking long enough to fuck.

• The Wrens hardly ever leaves her apartment, but whenever she does you have the most amazing parties with her.

• Dan Deacon tries to mask his intelligence with goofiness, and also tries to mask his goofiness with intelligence (WARNING: DANGEROUSLY META)

• Nile has great tits but just lays there in bed.

• Ellen Allien only comes out of her shell when her boyfriend is with her, and you wonder how much of it is him and how much is her.

• Uffie is that annoying cunt dancing on top of the bar. You can't wait for someone to throw a drink at her head.

• Hercules & Love Affair was really understanding when you realized halfway through that you're not that into guys after all.

• Junior Boys threw a "cuddle party" that, to your amazement, did not devolve into awkward makeouts or group sex. You eagerly await the next one.

Addendum/how did I forget to put this one on here:

• The Postal Service is that really sappy guy you dated for a year, and looking back you're embarassed at all the public make-out sessions you had with him.

Oh also for no particular reason here is Hanners in riot gear:

TWEETSPAM: BAND SIMILE EDITION

2010-01-10T05:26:24Z

Sometimes I get on Twitter and just go off on an hours-long stream-of-consciousness tangentrant. This is one of those times.

• Isis would be that girl who was amazing in bed until she started insisting on listening to nothing but Tool while you banged

• Explosions in the Sky would be that girl who's great in bed, sure, but it's EXACTLY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER FOREVER

• Future of the Left would just donkeypunch you and then post video of it on the internet

• Deathmøle would be a promising but ultimately derivative handjob in the parking lot of a Wendy's

• Nachtmystium would be that really weird girl your best friend is super super into and you don't understand it at all but to each his own

• Converge would be the really hot girl you hook up with at a party only to realize she is the town crotch and every other dude has banged her

• Attack Attack would be herpes OH WAIT THEY REALLY *ARE* HERPES

• Dream Theater would be the homely chick from theater tech who dorks only date 'cause they know she puts out

• Dream Theater's mom is Rush, who is actually hotter than her daughter in a weird cougary way

• Black Sabbath is the awesome old lady down the street who you KNOW partied super hard when she was young and sometimes she'll sell you weed

• Sepultura would be a guy who completely ignores all erogenous zones other than the vag because they "get in the way"

• Coheed & Cambria would be a guy who you initally wanna fuck but he keeps you up all night talking about HIS FEELINGS instead

• Dragonforce is the guy/girl in theater who thinks they're hot shit and all the nerds fawn over them while normal people can't stand them

• Mastodon would be the kinda redneck guy who is great in bed and you actually really like but you're embarassed to be seen with him in public

• Dir En Grey is the really hot chick you hit it off with but later that night when the pants come off SURPRISE DICKGIRL

• Pelican is the wonderful girl you could happily spend your whole life with but damn if she ain't bad at blowjobs

• Metallica is Lars Ulrich jerking off onto an original Van Gogh forever

• High On Fire is the really hot girl you have sex with occasionally if you're both single and it's always rad and there's never any drama

• Gojira is the amazing guy/girl you dated during your semester abroad but none of your friends believes any of your stories about

• Muse gave you a mediocre handjob and then shat the bed

• Porcupine Tree started out promising but the minute he mentioned how much he "admired Ayn Rand" the date was basically over

• Disturbed is a dog giving itself a blowjob

• Opeth is the guy you're really happy with but late at night you worry about whether he's gay

• Hum is your high school sweetheart who left you in college and then died in a car accident and you still miss her

• AC/DC is a schoolbus driver

• Judas Priest is your uncle who everyone is so much more comfortable with ever since he came out of the closet

• Baroness is the first person in his family to go to college and is kind of touchy about letting his country upbringing show through

• The Decemberists are that group of drama kids who never talk to anyone outside their clique and have tons of inside jokes you don't get

• Children of Bodom is a guy in skin tight leather pants with an obviously tiny dick.

• LED ZEPPELIN IS YOUR IMMORTAL STONER GRANDPA

• Animal Collective is that guy you know who acts ashamed every time you catch him reading Hipsterrunoff

• Belle and Sebastian is the guy who writes you a poem on the first date and you cringe in anticipation but it's actually a really good poem

• Don Caballero are that girl who is utterly intolerable to be around but holy shit the sex is mindblowingly amazing

• GWAR is the guy who thinks he is hilarious but is really bad at telling jokes

• In Flames is the guy with impeccable taste in music who secretly has a Limp Bizkit CD hidden in the back of his collection

• Xiu Xiu is the guy who breaks up with you because he knows otherwise he will ruin your life

• Death Cab For Cutie is the guy you had a HUGE crush on in high school but now it's your 10 year reunion and he is a bank manager

• Broken Social Scene is that awesome threesome you had in college

• Momus touched your feet a lot when you were a child and to this day you are uncomfortable around him

• You went on one amazing date with Trail of Dead and then he treated you like shit from then on with no explanation.

• Sigur Ros is that exchange student you thought might have had a crush on you but would just blush and run away if you tried to talk to her.

• Iron & Wine is that guy who was just a little TOO into cuddling.

• Apparat is the guy you'd totally date if he would just cheer the fuck up already

• American Analog Set is really quiet and you're not sure if it's 'cause he's "really deep" or he just "has nothing to say"

• nickelback is the guy who tried to pass off his genital warts as a "body modification, it's all the rage in, like, europe right now"

• Fuck Buttons may not be the smartest girl you've ever met, but jesus christ she's funny and the sex is great

• Wilco is your dad

• Slayer is your dad's biker brother

• Vampire Weekend is a rich kid in a polo shirt OH WAIT

• The Flaming Lips are your dad on viagra and antidepressants

• Morrissey is your dad after he's "finally gotten in touch with his true self"

• Justice is the guy you fuck while fantasizing about Daft Punk

• DAFT PUNK IS THE ORGASM THAT KILLS YOU

Long Songs

2010-01-07T06:49:27Z

Here's a .zip of "Long Songs," widely regarded (by 10 people) as the best Deathmøle album. It does have my favorite song I've ever written on it ("Pelicans").

Klicken Sie Bitte

Amps is done!

2010-01-04T04:04:02Z

I was glancing over iTunes today when I realized "whoa, 8 songs, almost exactly 45 minutes of music...I have a new Deathmøle record finished. Holy shit I've made five of these fucking things?!"

Anyway, here's a convenient .zip of all the mp3s if you'd like to download them in one big chunk. Click the cover art:

Let me know if there are any problems with the zip or the downloads. If people enjoy this distribution method I might zip up the older stuff and put that on Mediafire as well.

oh god

2009-12-22T03:22:15Z

The week between Christmas and New Year's is traditionally the lowest-traffic week of the year for my site, and I'm gonna be out of town anyway, so I thought I might try something a little different this year. Here's a teaser for my idea:

I've already got the basic idea for the story and will hopefully start working on it before we drive down to Maryland (one advantage of driving down is I can actually bring my big Cintiq with me) for the holiday. Of course, going over my outline and idea list, this might end up being MORE work than the usual QC strips >.<

So uh I no promises yet I guess, but hopefully I won't puss out and will actually get this done.

Fart-chan Mark II

2009-12-18T05:43:42Z

Tubgirl staggered and finally collapsed. "You...you have defeated me," she gasped.

"No," Fart-chan replied. "It was you who defeated yourself."

Weird Methods

2009-12-08T17:28:38Z

This song started out as a potential Deathmøle riff and quickly morphed into...something else. Sort of Fuck Buttons meets Dan Deacon meets dub techno I guess? I don't think I've ever had this many MIDI tracks running at one time before. Your average Deathmøle song has three, maybe four tops.

Anyway here's the song, hopefully you will like it: Weird Methods (tumescent elephant mix)

TIME FOR SOME HORSE PORN

2009-12-07T05:13:51Z

FUCK YOU DAVE

2009-12-04T05:20:26Z

There, I fixed it for you Dave

dear everyone bitching about how I should've put this behind a cut because bawwww I look at LJ at work and almost got in trouble waaaawwwwww

Maybe you shouldn't be looking at livejournal at work

Horus

2009-11-30T14:34:27Z

Recorded a new song, this one with actual (semiaudible) vocals.

Horus

High On Fire meets uncomfortable self-examination. Enjoy?

Seriously, fucking stop it

2009-11-19T10:09:06Z

An alternate script

2009-11-19T00:19:37Z

Sometimes people ask me about my writing process. It's not very interesting, actually- it just consists of sitting in front of my computer with a blank text editor file open, writing, deleting, and rearranging dialogue until I hit upon something I think is funny. Some days I get lucky and think of a comic in 30 seconds in the shower that morning, other days I spend five hours trying to get one panel's worth of dialogue to work. Most of the time it's somewhere inbetween those two extremes.

In many cases I'll finish a script and then change parts of it as I draw the comic. In some cases I'll finish a script and then immediately think of a different version of it, and then I have to decide which version to go with. Comic 1538 was one of those situations. Here's the original script I had written for it:

1

Hanners: What IS a "moustache ride" anyway?

Faye: Well see, back in the seventies it was really fashionable for men to have moustaches.

2

Dora: Faye, don't-

Faye: AND ESPECIALLY in the biker community. But motorcycle gangs had a bad reputation, and in order to improve their image, they started staging mass rallies to raise money for local charities.

Hence the term "moustache rides."

3

Hanners: So that shirt...

Faye: I'm guessing it was to celebrate how much money they raised at one of those events.

3.5

Hanners: Wow, I had no idea! Thanks for explaining, Faye!

Faye: No problem.

4

Dora: You realize she's going to be horrified when she goes home and looks up the phrase online.

Faye: Lemme borrow your laptop. I bet I can make a fake Wikipedia entry that'll last long enough to keep her oblivious.

It's funny, but it didn't seem true to Dora's character to just let Faye pull one over on Hannelore like that, so I changed it to the version you see in the finished comic. Anyway I have no idea if this was interesting/useful to anyone but people do sometimes wonder what my scripts look like, so uh there you go?

Animarigold

2009-10-28T07:22:21Z

If QC were done in straight-up anime style, this is what Marigold would probably look like.

(click for a huge version)

(of course my figure-drawing skills are nowhere near good enough to actually pull off proper manga-style art)